Family Service & Children's Aid to the American Red Cross
On behalf of the Board and staff of Family Service and Children's Aid , we challenge the Red Cross as follows: The Red Cross must participate in the Road Rallye. As long as you enter one car, the number of cars you enter is irrelevant as we will crush you anyway. If your best car places higher than our best car, we will donate 20 pints of blood. However, when we win, we will expect a free first aid class for our foster families and staff!
Response from Red Cross:
WE ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE. We expect that, as a very low budget nonprofit operation, our car is older and slower than your car but its occupants are wise beyond belief and skilled in the arts of quick thinking and rapid response SOOOOOOOO Be Prepared to Lose! We may use our Emergency Response Bus (ERB) and a substantial portion of our 377 volunteers to ride along with us; the ERB's generator can power our Chapter's supercomputer and the satellite dish on the roof of the ERB can download information from the World Wide Web and we can eat and drink and take naps as we travel while everyone else is scratching their respective heads and trying to remember which part of Leslie is in Jackson County and which way back to the county seat.
BRAGGING RIGHTS and WINNER of CHALLENGE: FSCA. However, FSCA will still donated 20 pints of blood.
Family Service & Children’s Aid to United Way of Jackson County
Be afraid - be very afraid! On behalf of the Board and staff of Family Service and Children’s Aid, we challenge the United Way as follows: If your best car places higher than our best car, we will host the United Way Pacemaker (HHS) Kick-off in late August. However, when we win, we will expect you and your staff to come, dressed in full regalia including you in your pink feather boa, to sing (cough,cough,choke,choke) your plagiarized YMCA song at FSCA’s campaign kick-off meeting. Prepare your costumes now and begin to rehearse for your pay-off for your last place finishes.
Response from United Way
Seriously? You think a little anachronistic syntax will frighten the mightiest staff ever assembled under one mission? We accept your challenge under one condition: You host our PaceSETTER event, including singing a special welcoming song the lyrics of which we shall provide. Pacemakers are what your team will need when we finish stomping you on the road. In the extremely unlikely event that we do not win, we will write a special song for you.
BRAGGING RIGHTS AND WINNER of CHALLENGE: FSCA, However, FSCA will still host the PaceSetter event.
Jackson Community Foundation to United Way of Jackson County
The Jackson Community Foundation respectfully challenges the United Way of Jackson County. When we win, we want your team to stand at the corner of Michigan Ave. and West Ave. during rush hour, holding colorful signs and collecting donations for the Jackson Legacy Scholarship Fund. If we lose, we will put Jim Sandy in the dunk tank at one of the United Way’s Campaign Kick-Off events.
Response from United Way
Let me know if you need to borrow my plastic seat covers. I’ve circulated your challenge around the office, and everyone here agrees with me that it’s not quite fair – even though the chance we’ll lose is virtually nil, the prospect of Jim in our dunk tank doesn’t quite stack up to a bunch of us having to solicit donations in busy traffic. However, if Jan were also willing to take a turn in the tank, either at the same event or a later one, that would be much more appealing…
BRAGGING RIGHTS AND WINNER of CHALLENGE: Jackson Community Foundation
Fitness Council to Nonprofit Network
The Fitness Council has attacked our event relying on cars and is doing the Rallye on Bikes!
If the Fitness Council team is victim to a lightening strike, horrible illness, or some other unexpected disaster that results in a lower score than the Nonprofit Network team, the entire Fitness Council board and Executive Director will attend Board 101 or other training as demanded by you. In the more likely case that bikes prove to be the more efficient form of transportation around the city and we emerge victorious, we will look forward to a demonstration of the benefits of biking in our community by having a Nonprofit Network team competing in the Smart Commute 2010 Corporate Challenge (more info at http://fitnesscouncil.org/smart-commute-2010/smart-commute-corporate-challenge), AND getting up bright and early to serve a light breakfast at our Smart Commuter Meet-Up on May 21.
Eat our dust!
BRAGGING RIGHTS AND WINNER of CHALLENGE: Fitness Council and Nonprofit Network. Nonprofit Network will provide training for the Fitness Council Board and will particiapte in the Smart Commute 201, including serving breakfast.